Seasonal Depression

This month has just begun and the winter coats, sweaters, boots and scarves have reappeared for the season. The weather has started to become more chilly and gloomy and the daylight hours are shorter which means symptoms of seasonal depression may also begin to reappear for some. Seasonal depression, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), is reported to effect between 10 and 20 percent of the world's population during the fall and winter months, according to research conducted at Johns Hopkins University. The DSM-5 (the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders) now officially identifies this disorder as Major Depressive Disorder with Seasonal Pattern. 

People with mood disorders like major depressive disorder or bipolar disorder are more likely to suffer from SAD. There are a number of proposed causes of SAD, including a disruption of the circadian rhythm (common in the winter months due to less daylight), a deficiency in serotonin (a neurotransmitter that regulates emotions and moods), an imbalance in melatonin levels (lack of sunlight affecting sleep), and vitamin D deficiency. 

What are some symptoms of seasonal depression?

• Sadness 

• Drowsiness and excessive sleep

• Feeling irritable

• Inability to focus

• Apathy

• Alterations in appetite

• Diminished interest in once pleasurable activities

Preventing and Treating Seasonal Affective Disorder:

1. Get outside. Get some fresh air and sunshine by going for a stroll. Take frequent breaks to step outside during the work day. Open your curtains or shades and let natural light in through your windows.

2. Use light therapy. You can prevent your body from producing an excess of melatonin even if you are unable to go outside during daylight hours. Set aside at least 20 minutes per day to use light therapy, preferably first thing in the morning. You can find an option for a light box here: Light Therapy Lamp

3. Move your body. Aim for at least 30-minutes of movement three times per week. Physical activity reduces tension and anxiety, both of which may contribute to your SAD symptoms.

4. Connect with friends. Maintain your usual routine and social activities. During the colder months, they can lend support, laughter and meaningful interaction. 

5. Discover new wintertime interests. The outdoor plans may be put on hold due to the cold weather, but this may be an opportunity to read a book, work on a home improvement project, or learn a new skill like sewing. Make seasonal adjustments to your preferred forms of recreation.

If you are experiencing symptoms of seasonal depression, it is important to seek professional care from a physician and therapist. Check with your medical provider who may do certain diagnostic tests to rule out other potential causes of your symptoms. A provider's diagnosis of seasonal depression can lead to improved symptom management and possibly even long-term prevention.

Authored by:

Julianna Robinson, LCSW 

References:

Seasonal affective disorder: What you should know. Seasonal Affective Disorder: What You Should Know | Johns Hopkins Medicine. (2021, November 11). Retrieved December 2, 2022, from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/seasonal-affective-disorder-what-you-should-know 

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (n.d.). Seasonal affective disorder. National Institute of Mental Health. Retrieved December 2, 2022, from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/seasonal-affective-disorder

Can you have too much therapy?

People seek therapy for a variety of reasons, including learning how to manage depression or anxiety, overcoming work stressors, resolving challenging family dynamics, or grieving the loss of a loved one. Some people need a shorter sequence of sessions and some need to maintain therapy sessions for years. There is a growing body of evidence supporting the efficacy of brief psychological therapy of 12-16 sessions for a variety of conditions. But some clients need 20-30 sessions or more to experience substantial improvement in their symptoms and develop the coping mechanisms designed to continue those improvements. 

Bottom-up approaches, such as Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, and Hypnotherapy, often require fewer sessions. However, a client may need top-down approaches including CBT or DBT in conjunction with or prior to those approaches taking place in order for stabilization and grounding. Treatment is unique to the individual. When determining how long treatment should last, it's important to consider a wide range of variables, such as the nature and severity of the issues being addressed, the client’s stage of change, and the therapist's approach.  

1. Maintain regular communication with your therapist about your progress toward your goals and objectives, which are laid out on your treatment plan.

Be patient with yourself and trust the process. It may take some time to incorporate therapy interventions outside of your therapy sessions. Check in with your therapist and ask for feedback regarding observed progress. Are you making progress toward the goals you originally identified during your intake session? Are you feeling differently since you first started therapy? At some point throughout therapy, you may feel like it is no longer helping because you have processed through your concerns and have discovered new ways to cope with what led you to seek therapy in the first place. When you have addressed and met goals on your initial treatment plan, you may actually uncover a new goal you would like to work on for your further healing. Embarking on an additional goal can then be added to your treatment plan.

2. Try varying frequency of sessions with your therapist. 

Therapy often begins with weekly or biweekly sessions. Your therapist will use evidence- based practices so it’s important to first discuss with your therapist how often they suggest you attend therapy. If you have been meeting with your therapist on a weekly basis and are considering stopping sessions but are unsure if it is the best thing to do, spreading out your sessions is a useful next step. Maybe you are curious if you are becoming dependent on your therapist. However, by transitioning to less frequent sessions and maintaining communication with your therapist, therapy can become a healthy and reliable resource rather than emotional dependence. Instead of completely discontinuing sessions, decreasing the frequency of sessions may allow you to practice the tools you have learned outside of therapy. You may experience that you have the tools you need to cope with the ups and downs that are a natural part of life. 

3.Recognize and be open to the possibility that you may be in therapy longer than you expected. 

Some people, such as those who experienced childhood abuse or trauma, may need extensive counseling. For example, children who have been through trauma are more likely to struggle as adults with mental health concerns including depression, anxiety, eating disorders and addiction. According to clinical studies, it is recommended that those with co-occurring disorders will experience more effective treatment with 12-18 months of therapy. You can look at therapy as a resource to prioritize and take care of your mental health in a manner that is comparable to the way in which you might routinely participate in physical activity for the purpose of maintaining your physical health. Your therapist's role is not to "fix" you but rather to support you as you learn to embrace and show up in the world as your authentic self. 
Even if you've reached the decision to stop attending therapy sessions, you and your therapist do not have to completely sever ties. If you discover a therapist who has helped you and with whom you have built a rapport, you can reach out to them again in the future if something else comes up. Everyone evolves and changes in their own way. The path to recovery is unique for each individual. 

Authored by: Julianna Robinson, LCSW

References:

American Psychological Association. (n.d.). How long will it take for treatment to work? American Psychological Association. Retrieved November 15, 2022, from https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/length-treatment 

Grateful with a Side of Anxiety

It’s time for reuniting with family, turkey, holiday cheer, pumpkin pie and giving thanks. For some, it’s also a time for anxiety related to changes in routine, distress surrounding food, and tension between family members. Let’s discuss how to navigate the Thanksgiving holiday when stress, anxiety and fear arise.

1. Keep in mind that it’s only one day

When you wake up on Thanksgiving Day, nourish yourself with an adequate breakfast. You'll have more stamina and energy to cope with stress-inducing situations as a result. Society has also normalized the behaviors associated with disordered eating. The holiday might feel stressful due to the simultaneous pressures of consuming entirely different dishes than your norm and feeling guilty about eating larger servings. Even though it’s Thanksgiving, your body still needs to be nourished with three meals. Instead of skipping meals or trying to compensate, give yourself permission for one of those meals to be your Thanksgiving meal for the day. Practice mindful eating by observing the varied textures, aromas, and colors on your plate and take a few minutes to pause in the midst of your meal to check in with your hunger, how full you are, and how much you are enjoying the food.

2. Identify and reach out to your support system 

Identify one person who will be at the holiday gathering or 2-3 people outside of the gathering who you feel safe with. It may be a member of your family or a close friend who understands what you're going through and who you can quickly draw aside or who you can sit next to for support. If the individual is a friend or family who lives outside of your household and will not be there physically, make a plan with them ahead of time so that they can be reached by phone or text in case you need to reach out. 

3. Check in with how you’re feeling and take breaks

Pause, observe and acknowledge what you’re feeling. What are some practices that normally help you decompress and calm you? Determine ahead of time which coping methods you will implement in order to effectively manage a situation that is emotionally taxing or overwhelming. Set aside time for yourself to recharge. Allow yourself to step away for even 10-15 minutes to practice a breathing exercise, watch a funny video, text a friend, or ground yourself with a short walk. Schedule therapy before or after the holidays. Friends may be a source of comfort, but they frequently lack objectivity and have biased opinions about your circumstances. Your therapist has the ability to affirm your experience without endorsing harmful coping mechanisms.

4. Establish your boundaries 

After identifying potential boundary violations, practice appropriate responses. If the discussion starts to go toward topics that are off-limits for you, such as diet or weight talk or politics, be prepared with a few topics to bring up, such as a trip you’re looking forward to. It’s ok to have a simple phrase ready of “I prefer to talk about something else.” It might be helpful to have some prepared replies ready for when you encounter challenging topics. Keep an open heart toward loved ones who discuss these troublesome topics, but maintain firm limits. 

It is natural to feel anxious throughout the holiday season. With a little preparation, you can both enjoy the holiday and embrace a spirit of gratitude. 

Authored By:

Julianna Robinson, LCSW 

Q & A with a Date Coach

Therapist Spotlight

Q&A with Taivia Thompson, LPC & Date Coach

Meet Taivia! She is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Summit’s Edge Counseling and provides both therapy services and date coaching to clients in the Atlanta area. She is passionate about working with women of color who are experiencing relationship dissatisfaction, anxiety, depression and life transitions.  I sat down with Taivia to talk about her services and the impact she hopes to have in the community.

Can you tell us a little more about what you offer as a date coach?

Taivia: The purpose of Date Coaching is to help improve a person’s dating skillset and to enhance their ability to get more favorable results. That may involve honing in on a person’s values, interests, boundaries, and the way in which they are going about dating. We perform an assessment of the people they’re dating. How are those people aligning with their personal vision and goals? We dive deeply into their dating life and examine their wants, needs and desires and how we can get closer to the desired outcome.

Where do you send clients to empower them in their own exploration of themselves? 

Taivia: I send clients specifically to the Self-Love Workbook on Amazon. It’s a great supplement to therapy because it hits 6 different areas that pour into loving yourself to include self-identity, self-care, and self-acceptance. I believe self discovery is always a good place to start when aiming to increase self-confidence, and establish boundaries. I’ve used it too! I don’t ever give clients something to do that I haven’t done myself. 

In your opinion, what effect has social media (like TikTok) had on mental health access?

Taivia: A huge impact. Clients come in all the time talking about something they saw on TikTok. I think the impact can be both positive and negative. I’ve personally seen helpful tips from licensed therapists and I’ve also seen other things that may be causing more harm than good. I definitely think social media can (and does) have a huge impact on mental health.

How does this impact your work? 

Taivia: I do a lot of untying things with clients such as trying to get clients to see that everything they see on social media is not necessarily reality. It’s kind of like when you Google something or go to Wikipedia and immediately connect that thing with what’s going on with you and you self-diagnose based on that information. I will never tell people to stop using social media. Instead, I will talk through the issues they have with it. I encourage clients to not make assumptions about a diagnosis that they may have, and to resist the urge to self-diagnose without talking to a professional. 

How do you deal with the big feelings that come up such as client hopelessness or despair? 

Taivia: I validate them first because I think emotions are always valid. I also teach clients about dialectics. Dialectics is the concept of investigating two opposing things with the understanding that both are true. This is helpful when we break down all the opposing feelings a person experiences (at the same time). It can be true that I feel like a failure at this moment, and it can also be true that I’m a very accomplished person. I’m acknowledging what I’m feeling, and acknowledging something factual. 

What in your life has taught you the most about yourself as a person?

Taivia: I would say my journey to becoming an LPC. It was rocky. I have never seen so many different variations of myself. I’ve seen the version that gave up, the version that decided to keep going, the version that felt hopeless, and the version that felt excited. I’ve seen different sides of who I am like a lot of what my clients experience. I’ve been there. Maybe in a different capacity, but I’ve been there. I’ve felt those feelings. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless, depressed, and excited, especially pertaining to your career. 

What brings you joy in your own life? 

Taivia: Water. Being around water makes me feel joy, peace and very much calm. It can bring a ray of sun to a rainy day. When I’m feeling sad, I’ll reminisce and look at beach photos. I’ve made a point over the last few years to always film the ocean and take nice videos when I’m there so that I can look back and reminisce to feel like I’m there again. 

If you’re ready to fulfill your goals and needs in your relationships and you’re ready to feel empowered in your dating life, Taivia is ready to support you in your journey. Schedule a free 15 minute consultation with Taivia today by clicking here!

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October brings many things that go “bump” in the night, including the scariest thing 10 million Americans experience every year…Domestic Violence.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as “The willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.” Domestic Violence (DV) can include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, stalking, intimidating behavior, spiritual abuse, or financial control. DV can occur between any two persons within a household including between a parent and a child, siblings, or even roommates.

Here are some little-known facts about Domestic Violence:

• In the United States, over 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually

• 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime

• DV hotlines receive over 19,000 calls daily

• Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) occurs most commonly against women ages 18-24

• In Georgia, at least 1,671 Georgians lost their lives by DV between 2003 to 2016.

• DV affects members of the LGBTQ community at rates that are comparable to or even greater than those experienced by their heterosexual counterparts

• Children who witness DV may internalize guilt and feel responsible, which can have lasting effects on their emotional health, academic performance, and interpersonal relationships

• In the United States, women of color are more likely to be victims of IPV. Even though women of color experience DV at a much higher rate, they are more likely to be criminalized when they attempt to seek help

Domestic violence can affect anyone. A "typical victim" does not exist. Domestic violence affects people of various ages, races, sexual orientations, socioeconomic status, religious affiliations, and physical abilities.

It’s important to know the difference between Myths & Facts of Domestic Violence:

Myth: Co-dependence is a major factor in why abuse victims stay in abusive relationships.

Fact: When victims of abuse seek to flee, they often face a number of obstacles.

Long-term exposure to this sort of treatment, even when interspersed with times of love and desired behaviors from the abusive partner, can leave the victim feeling imprisoned, silenced, and lacking in self-esteem. When the victim stands up for themself, the abuser may increase their control and violence. What appears to be codependent behavior is often a defense mechanism against further abuse.

Myth: Substance use causes domestic violence.

Fact: Use of drugs or alcohol is not the cause in cases of domestic violence. Alcohol can make an abuser more violent, but abusive behavior is always a choice.

Myth: Abusive behavior is caused by mental illness. Most abusers have a personality disorder.

Fact: The cause of DV is not mental illness. Most individuals with mental illness are not violent. This myth can be harmful to survivors who may believe that the abuser's violence would end if they undergo therapy or take medication.

In the beginning of a relationship, it is rarely easy to tell if one partner will become abusive. Over time, domestic violence gets worse. Abusers often seem charming and faultless at first, but as the relationship goes on, they become more hostile and controlling. They are crafty and manipulative and will employ a variety of techniques to obtain and keep control over their partner, frequently in cycles that alternate between moments of harmony and peace with times of abuse. Violence is not equal in partnerships where domestic violence is present. There is always one person who is the main, ongoing source of power, control, and abuse, even if the victim fights back or starts violence in an effort to deescalate a situation.

It’s important not to victim blame. One’s personal struggles (both on the victim’s end and the abuser’s end) never make abuse justifiable, nor does it mean the victim can do anything to fix or repair a relationship where DV is present. Abuse is abuse and it only gets worse over time. 

The therapists at Summit’s Edge encourage anyone experiencing domestic violence to know that there are resources and support…

Listen to your inner voice. Trust your gut. Ask for help. Create a safety plan. Listen to and lean on the ones who believe you and believe in you. It IS possible to rebuild your life. Be gentle with yourself. Every human being deserves to be in a relationship in which they feel and are safe, valued, respected and free of violence. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available

national 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

GEORGIA 24-Hour Statewide Hotline: 800-334-2836

Authored By: Julianna Robinson, LCSW

References:

Fast facts: Preventing adverse childhood experiences . Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, April 6). Retrieved September 30, 2022, from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/fastfact.html 

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2020). Domestic violence in Georgia. www.ncadv.org/files/Georgia.pdf.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2018). Domestic violence and the LGBTQ Community. https://ncadv.org/blog/posts/domestic-violence-and-the-lgbtq-community

Preventing Intimate Partner Violence |Violence Prevention|Injury Center|CDC. (2020). CDC.Gov. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html

Why Do Victims Stay? (2018). National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay

Women of Color Network, Inc. . (n.d.). Retrieved September 30, 2022, from https://wocninc.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/DVFAQ-1.pdf 

National Recovery Month

National Recovery Month was established in 1989 by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) to bring attention to mental health and addiction recovery. SAMSHA intended to provide those who have overcome substance use disorders a chance to share their stories of triumph in order to inspire those who are still struggling to see that a healthier and more fulfilling life is attainable and that recovery is possible. Evidence-based treatment and recovery strategies are supported and promoted throughout National Recovery Month. 

In 2017, 46.6 million people aged 12 and older had a mental illness, according to SAMHSA data. 11.2 million of this group suffered from a severe mental illness. In addition, 19.7 million individuals across the same age range suffered from an alcohol or drug use disorder. 7.5 million people battled a substance use disorder, while 14.5 million suffered from alcohol use disorder (AUD). In 2017, alone, more than 72,000 Americans lost their lives to a drug overdose.

What are some signs of alcohol or drug addiction?

• Urges to use or drink regularly 

• Unsuccessful attempts to stop or limit amount of substance

• Giving up plans in order to drink or sleep off a hangover

• Problems with work or school performance or attendance

• Conflict in relationships due to substance use

Check out this tool that can help you assess whether or not you may have a substance use disorder: https://americanaddictioncenters.org/self-assessment

If you or someone you know is struggling with a substance use disorder, you may feel very isolated and discouraged because you feel powerless over your addiction. Maybe you have attempted to stop using, but battle to maintain sobriety. Staying sober on your own is challenging. There is hope for long-term sobriety, recovery and healing. 

Many resources exist to facilitate the process of recovery, including medication, support groups, outpatient programs, detox and residential treatment options. 

Discover groups or organizations that can link you with individuals who understand your disease so that you have a strong sober support network you can rely on for help and guidance. Here is a highlight of free support groups and harm reduction services in Georgia:

• Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.aa.org/

  • To find a meeting near you or a virtual meeting, there is a free app that you can download here: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/meeting-guide/id1042822181

• SMART Recovery: https://www.smartrecovery.org/

  • Download the free app to find a SMART Recovery meeting: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/smart-recovery/id1606416910

• Medication Assisted Treatment: https://atlantaharmreduction.org/medication-assisted-treatment-mat/

If you are looking for treatment options, the Georgia Crisis and Access Line at 1-800-715-4225 is available 24/7 and can help you find a detox bed or crisis intervention services.

No matter which path you take to sobriety, taking the first step is crucial and brave. All you need is an ounce of willingness to walk through the doors to a meeting or treatment facility and you will find that you are not alone. You will find that people do recover. And you can recover too.

Authored By: Julianna Robinson

References:

Bose, J., Hedden, S., Lipari, R., & Park-Lee, E. (n.d.). Key Substance Use and Mental Health Indicators in the United States . Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration . Retrieved September 9, 2022, from https://www.samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/cbhsq-reports/NSDUHFFR2017/NSDUHFFR2017.pdf 

Suicide Prevention: How you can help

National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month is an opportunity to educate ourselves on this serious public health problem. It’s an opportunity to be there for someone in need by listening to them and offering support, to learn how to assist someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts, to help remove the shame associated with reaching out for help, and to do what you can to eliminate the stigma that surrounds suicide and mental health care. Suicide is a human response to challenging environmental circumstances and emotional pain rather than a sign of personal failure or selfishness.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide is the twelfth leading cause of death overall in the U.S. It is the second leading cause of death for those aged 10 to 14 and 25 to 34, the third leading cause of death for those aged 15 to 24, and the fourth cause of death for those aged 35 to 44.

How can we help eliminate the stigma? Let’s start with the language we use surrounding suicide. Harmful and stereotypical comments, such as calling someone "crazy" or telling them "It’s just trendy to talk about mental health" or “You just need to stop feeling sorry for yourself” fall into this category. This is the reason mental health advocates typically use the term "died by suicide" rather than "committed suicide," as it removes the notion that suicide is a crime or sin, absolves blame from the person who has lost their life, and permits a dialogue about the illness or disorder from which they were suffering. Individuals may also internalize the stigmas that others have about those with mental health disorders, adding to their own feelings of shame. We can have compassion for mental illness in the same way that we do for physical illness. Both types of illness require courage and perseverance from the individual who suffers. Neither illness is chosen by the sufferer. Both can be fatal. Both need compassion and understanding, as well as a refrain from judgment and criticism.

How do we intervene? It is possible to prevent suicide. If someone tells you they are suicidal, you should always take them seriously. Asking someone if they are thinking about killing themselves won't make them do it. In fact, research indicates that acknowledging and talking about suicide can actually decrease suicidal thoughts, rather than increase them, and may lead to improved mental health in people who are looking for help. Being direct and asking if someone feels suicidal opens the door to conversation and may save a life. Offering help to people contemplating suicide and linking them with available resources could prevent a tragedy. Family and friends may be hesitant to broach the topic of suicide because they misjudge the severity of the threat or mistakenly believe that the only goal is to get attention. The danger of suicide is not raised through discussion of the topic. Supportive reactions include providing immediate, practical aid, such as remaining with the individual, encouraging them to speak honestly, assisting them in creating plans for the future, or actively contacting the following resources.

Resources that can help people navigate through a crisis or suicidal thoughts more effectively:

• Text 741741 to connect with a Crisis Counselor. For more information, check out https://www.crisistextline.org/

• Call 988. This is the new 3-digit number that will direct you to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

• The Stay Alive App includes tools for suicide prevention including a customizable safety plan, reasons for living, and a “LifeBox” where you can upload images that bring you hope. https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/stay-alive/id915458967

• If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911. 

“More than anything, my wish for you is this: That when your awful darkest days come, you will know you’re not alone. Pain will tell you to keep quiet, but that’s a lie. Life is fragile and we all break in different ways. I hope you know you can be honest. I hope you know that you can ask for help. Did you catch that? It is absolutely positively okay to ask for help. It simply means you’re human. Help is real and it is possible; people find it every day.” - Jamie Tworkowski

Authored By: Julianna Robinson, LCSW

References:

Dazzi, T., Gribble, R., Wessely, S., & Fear, N. (2014). Does asking about suicide and related behaviours induce suicidal ideation? What is the evidence? Psychological Medicine, 44(16), 3361-3363. doi:10.1017/S0033291714001299

 “Suicide.” National Institute of Mental Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide#part_2557. 

Back to School

The summer flew by and now it's time to get ready for the new school year. Many of you have either already begun school or only have a few days of summer left. Perhaps you're feeling worried about the upcoming school year, whether it's the start of a new grade or a brand new school. It's natural to feel anxious about this transition. 

Here are some tips for caregivers and children for managing back to school anxiety: 

1. Actively listen and model effective coping skills:

It is normal to experience some form of emotional response to transitions and changes. What we do need to keep an eye on, though, is our children's ability and our ability as caregivers to self-regulate and work through challenging feelings. The first step in learning to manage intense emotions is to recognize that we are having them in the first place, identify the emotion, and then find healthy outlets for them. This could take the shape of voicing thoughts and emotions, engaging in forms of movement or physical activity, listening to music, allowing ourselves to cry, or creative expression through art and play. The most valuable response for parents is to make time to be an active listener for their children, to encourage their children to express themselves freely while maintaining a supportive and soothing manner. Invite your child to practice self-soothing activities with you. 

2. Deep breathing

The stress response is triggered in our bodies whenever we are exposed to situations that cause us to feel anxious. Normal bodily responses to stress include an increased heart rate, tightening of the muscles, and a shallowing of the breath, among other symptoms. Do these symptoms ring a bell? Then I recommend taking some deep breaths. This simple relaxation technique, which is the antidote to the stress response, is activated when we learn to control our breathing. This tells our bodies that we are safe and regulates our nervous system. My go-to breathing exercise is “box breathing.” Imagine a square and inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, and hold for 4 counts. Repeat as many times as needed. 

3. Routine

Sticking to a regular routine, which is vital for providing a sense of stability and control, can reduce anxiety. An effective approach to prepare for the school year, along with extracurricular activities, is to establish a daily routine. This might include rest time after school, creating a blocked time for homework, putting electronics away and winding down at a certain time to get enough hours of sleep, as well as ensuring that nutritional needs are being met throughout the day. Routines don’t have to be boring. If you are a parent, you can allow your child to have input into building their routine. Maybe that is implementing an activity into their evening that they enjoy, such as a game. 

4. Be here now

Routine is helpful and it is important to embrace flexibility. Embrace the unknown and make peace with the fact that the here and now is exactly how it is. When you accept something, it does not mean that you have to agree with it or even enjoy it; rather, it means that you are willing and able to embrace what lies ahead. No matter how much time we spend racking our brains around all the “what ifs,” most of the time we are unable to accurately predict what will take place in the future. Ask yourself what you can do to concentrate on the here and now, rather than letting yourself become preoccupied with what will happen in the future. 

Authored By: Julianna Robinson, LCSW

Reference:

Kaputk. (2021, August 16). Box breathing benefits and techniques. Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved August 18, 2022, from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/box-breathing-benefits/ 

Therapy 101

Many of us have been to therapy or know someone who has a therapist. Following our favorite Instagram therapists and talking to our friends about what we’re working on in therapy might be part of our everyday conversations. Some of us have never been to a therapist because we may not feel like it would be helpful, may feel embarrassed to seek one, or do not have the accessibility or means. There are those of us who have had an unfavorable experience with a therapist and are not sure of the usefulness of attempting therapy again. So, is therapy even effective?  What is therapy all about?  

According to the American Psychiatric Association, “Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, is a way to help people with a broad variety of mental illnesses and emotional difficulties. Psychotherapy can help eliminate or control troubling symptoms so a person can function better and can increase well-being and healing.” The therapeutic partnership that exists between a client and therapist is the foundation of the collaborative treatment known as psychotherapy. 

We’ve taken some time to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about therapy and how it “works”…

Why go to a therapist when I can just talk with a friend, a family member, or a spiritual/religious leader?  

You will find that therapists encourage you to lean into your personal support system (with boundaries, of course!), but sometimes the people in our support system do not always have the knowledge or tools to respond in a productive way. Therapy offers a safe, supportive, and confidential environment that enables you to discuss freely with another person who is objective, unbiased, and does not pass judgment on what you think or say. Together with a therapist, you will work to recognize and change unhealthy thinking and patterns of behavior that are preventing you from experiencing a sense of wholeness. Therapy helps you make changes in those patterns so that you may live freely as your most authentic self. Certain types of psychotherapy are more effective than others at treating particular mental health and behavioral challenges. Therapists are trained in using evidence-based treatment modalities. We will explore these different modalities in future blog posts.  

Are my struggles “bad” enough for therapy?  What if the therapist thinks my problems aren’t that big of a deal for me to come to therapy?

First, as your therapist we are honored to sit with you as you vulnerably share your personal stories, your pains, your joys, your hurts, and your victories. Your therapist will not compare your distress to any other’s situation. Your pain is significant, never to be minimized. People who have been diagnosed with mental illnesses, such as substance use disorders or mood disorders, are not the only people who can benefit from psychotherapy. ANY person may benefit from therapy for a variety of the issues or conflicts that inevitably happen in life, such as work stressors, relationship issues or break ups, adjusting to college, or becoming an empty nester (to name a few).

How long will I need to be in therapy and is it more than just talking about my feelings?

You may have heard the saying, “Healing isn’t linear.” Healing often feels messy and your struggles and emotions simply mean you are human. One of the goals of therapy is to help you build coping tools that are long lasting. Therefore, when challenges arise, you have the tools to sit with the waves of pain or anxiousness and cope in a beneficial way.  Therapy can be short-term or long-term. It can be for months or years. This can depend on your needs and goals, stage of change, or financial limitations. Approximately 75% of those who seek therapy report a significant increase in their quality of life following treatment, according to research. Researchers have even used brain-imaging tools to indicate that psychotherapy positively affects brain activity, structural brain changes, and neural processes in the hippocampus, amygdala, medial prefrontal cortex, and anterior cingulate cortex. 

Where do I find a therapist who fits my needs?

Finding a therapist who fits your needs can feel daunting, but websites like PsychologyToday.com allow you to filter your search by selecting the “issues” for which you are seeking therapy, your insurance plan, your preferred gender identity, and location. Most therapists offer a free 15-minute consultation. Therapy sessions typically last 50-60 minutes and are weekly, biweekly or monthly depending on your needs. Therapists have different styles and personalities, so it’s ok for you to talk with or try more than one before you find the one who is the best fit for you. You can also visit our Vibes Page to learn more about each of the therapists at Summit’s Edge!

No matter the reason you choose to begin therapy, we’re happy you’re here and we can’t wait to meet you!

Authored by: Julianna Robinson LCSW

References: 

1. Beauregard, M. (2014, March 0). Functional neuroimaging studies of the effects of psychotherapy - PMC. PubMed Central (PMC); www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3984893/#__ffn_sectitle

2. Recognition of Psychotherapy Effectiveness. (2012). American Psychological Association; www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/about/policy/resolution-psychotherapy

3. What is psychotherapy? (2019, January). American Psychiatric Association: www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/psychotherapy

BIPOC Mental Health Awareness Month

This month we are observing BIPOC Mental Health Awareness Month to raise awareness of the particular challenges with which under-represented groups in the United States are confronted in relation to mental illness. In order to emphasize person-first terminology, the term "BIPOC" is used to describe Black, Indigenous, People of Color and their unique experiences. Bebe Moore Campbell, an American author, writer, and teacher, established July as BIPOC Mental Health Awareness Month in 2008 as a way to draw attention to the specific difficulties that under-represented communities face. 

Due to cultural stigma and limited access to mental health care services, BIPOC communities frequently experience poor mental health outcomes. According to the Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health, the reason for this is because certain needs are not being satisfied. Studies conducted by Mental Health America indicate that African Americans have a 10% higher risk of experiencing severe psychological distress and more than 2.9 million Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders in the United States report suffering from mental illness, but they are the least likely population to seek treatment for their mental health concerns.

The BIPOC community is more prone to endure socio-economic inequities such as exclusion from health care, educational opportunities, and social and financial resources. These differences could be contributing factors in poorer mental health outcomes. In the course of American history, BIPOC have been and continue to be subjected to unfavorable treatment at the hands of prejudiced and discriminatory health professionals. A lack of cultural competence among health providers, incorrect diagnoses, and poor treatment contribute to an atmosphere of mistrust that discourages many from seeking therapy or remaining in treatment. Many BIPOC communities struggle with the stigma associated with mental health treatment. Some groups consider mental illness as a personal defect or deficiency, as opposed to a legitimate and treatable illness. 

How can BIPOC individuals & families find A therapist who meets the unique challenges within the BIPOC community?

Here are some helpful places to start:

https://www.inclusivetherapists.com 

“Inclusive Therapists offers a safer, simpler way to find a culturally responsive, LGBTQ+ affirming, social justice-oriented therapist. We center the needs of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) and the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. We amplify the voices and expressions of Neurodivergent and Disabled communities.” 

https://www.melaninandmentalhealth.com/directory-therapists/

“Melanin & Mental Health was born out of a desire to connect individuals with culturally competent clinicians committed to serving the mental health needs of Black & Latinx/Hispanic communities. We are committed to promoting the growth and healing of our communities through our website, online directory, and monthly events.”

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Click here to schedule a consultation or intake with one of our trauma-informed, culturally competent BIPOC clinicians who have first-hand knowledge and experience of the specific needs and sensitivities required to treat under-represented groups of people.

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Other Resources:

• Health Care Disparities Among Black, Indigenous, and People of Color

• Clinicians of Color

• The Happiness Lab: How to be a better Ally (podcast)

• Mixed Identity Workbook

• MHA- Latinx/Hispanic Communities- Información Y Materiales De Salud Mental En Español

• Tips for Self-Care for Black Families

• Arab-American Family Support Centerth Asian Mental Health Initiative & Network (SAMHIN)

• Asian Pride Project

• All My Relations Podcast

Authored By:

Julianna Robinson, LCSW

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References:

African Americans | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2022). National Alliance of Mental Illness. https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Identity-and-Cultural-Dimensions/Black-African-American

Asian American / Pacific Islander Communities and Mental Health. (2022). Mental Health America. https://www.mhanational.org/issues/asian-american-pacific-islander-communities-and-mental-health

BIPOC Mental Health Month. (2022). Mental Health America. https://www.mhanational.org/BIPOC-mental-health-month

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These…

Have you ever woken up in the morning, and thought to yourself: “The dream I had about being chased was really strange…” or “Why did I dream I missed my meeting?” Or “That was such a vivid dream, but I couldn’t quite grasp what I was reaching for…” How many times have you woken up shuddering from the memory of the previous night’s dreams? Have there been days when the dream has stayed with you well past the morning? 

It’s widely thought that our dreams are directly tied to our deepest subconscious thoughts. 

The Oxford Dictionary defines the Subconscious as: 

adj. 1. describing mental processes of which a person is not fully aware, but which influences one’s actions and feelings.  

2. (in psychoanalysis) denoting the part of the mind that includes memories, motives, and intentions that are momentarily not present in consciousness but can more or less readily be recalled to awareness. 

The subconscious can be thought of as our “inner treasure chest” where many of our most inner thoughts, emotions, and desires are held. So it can be inferred that dreams are a way for the subconscious mind to communicate with the conscious mind. 

How do dreams connect to our emotions? 

Recent research has shown a rooted connection between anxiety and dreams, especially pre and post the Covid -19 Pandemic. At the peak of the Pandemic, there was a heightened level of anxiety world-wide. We were dealing with the unknown, while the narrative in the media was ever changing. We did not know how life would progress or if/when we’d ever find “normal” again. Thankfully, after almost 3 years of uncertainty, we are finally trending in that direction. Despite this, many are still struggling with the aftershocks of the Pandemic, the lockdowns, and for some, the severe illnesses or grieving the death of a loved one.

Another recent study indicates that there has been a rise in dream and nightmare occurrences since the start of the Pandemic. For most people, there was an overall increase in stress, depression, and anxiety during that time, and these challenges continue to prevent some from finding their pre-Covid routines. The Pandemic forced most people into lockdown and social isolation and this has negatively impacted our sleep patterns as a result. Sleep, as we know, directly influences our mental health, particularly increasing symptoms of depression and anxiety when we don’t get enough rest. As the world around us has begun to “wake up” and begin moving toward “regularly scheduled programming”, we have experienced something called “Social Jet Lag”; a form of circadian misalignment from the sudden demands of early starts at school and work routines which has further disrupted our natural circadian. 

It’s important now more than ever to pay attention to the health of our sleep so that we can have a better night’s sleep and feel rested.

Below are some helpful tips for getting a better night’s sleep, in the new “Post Covid-19 Era”: 

• Ensure you have a good bedtime routine. Take steps to encourage relaxation and decompression from the rigors of the day. Try reading, soaking in a warm bath, meditating, chamomile or lavender tea (caffeine free), or breathing exercises prior to bed to help wind down. 

• Cut back on alcohol and caffeine several hours prior to bedtime. 

• Try to eat dinner early. Eating increases your metabolism which leads to a more active mind which can directly affect your dreams if you snack or have dinner closer to bedtime. 

• Put the phone down well before bedtime. Avoid checking social media and/or emails. Both have been directly linked to our emotions and could cause increased anxiety and/or stress when trying to fall asleep.

• Review any medications. Medications can affect sleep patterns. Be sure to discuss with your physician before making any changes to your medication or starting a new medication. 

• Talk about your dreams when you remember them. Sometimes verbalizing troubling dreams can lessen their intensity. 

• Create a dream journal. Writing can be cathartic and is a helpful way to remember details you may not remember later. This may also help you see any recurring patterns of your dreams. 

• Rewrite the endings to the negative dreams. Write out a better ending and place a more positive outlook on those intense or vivid dreams. 

• Steer clear of scary movies or books prior to bedtime. 

• Use a sound machine. Find a relaxing sound that puts you at ease and help you fall into a deep sleep.

• Practice self-care daily! Examples of self-care can be doing something creative, going for a walk, listening to your favorite song, spending time with your pets, or making time to see a therapist! 

No matter which of these tips you choose to try, commit to them and do it every day to help prime you for a good night’s sleep.

Wishing you sweet dreams! 

Authored by Ingrid Speed

Sources: 

How to Stop Nightmares

Resolve to Ditch Your New Year's Resolutions

The hustle and bustle of the holidays may have waned, but if you’re anything like me, the most exciting time of year is yet to come...The New Year. The ending of a year has always held an enchanting feeling of opportunity, growth, and inspiration. For most, it’s a time to “get back on track” or “kick that bad habit”. But for me, it’s a time of reflection and renewal. It’s a time when I review my year and reflect on my accomplishments and failures, my challenges and celebrations, and consider my new ambitions, my continued areas of growth, and my intentions for the year ahead. 

While setting New Year's Resolutions are a strongly held tradition, they often go unfinished, abandoned, or discarded. And it makes sense that resolutions don’t work when you consider the actual definition...A Resolution: “The solution to a problem...A decision to stop doing something bad, or a decision to start doing something good.” No wonder they almost always fall short! Resolutions are born from the misguided assumption that who you are isn’t good enough and implies criticism and judgment as if you are a problem that needs to be fixed. (Cue the mad rush to the gym on January 1st). So when we “fall behind” or “slip up”, we inherently view it as a failure and give up on the intended goal altogether. The rigid rules of a resolution implies that if you don’t do something perfectly, there’s no point in doing it at all. 

But the truth is, we are not problems that need to be fixed. Yes, we are imperfect, but our flaws are our “growing edges”. But there is a much more sustainable way to achieve all that you desire. I invite you to celebrate the renewal of our calendar with a refreshing alternative aimed to achieve those same goals but with grace and wiggle room and allowance for self-love!

How to Ditch the Resolution and Create New Year Intentions:

in·ten·tion

/inˈten(t)SH(ə)n/

“A strong purpose or aim, accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result. A decision to act a certain way: Resolve. Formed by the heart and mind. A vow, determination, or will to focus and harmonize mind and body.”

1. It’s time to reflect on your past year: 

   What are some themes that come up for you? What is it that you learned? How did you grow? In what ways were you challenged? How do you want to improve? What is it that you ultimately desire? 

2. Dig into your why: 

Why do you want to improve? Why are your desires important to you? Ask yourself “why” at least 5 times. See what you come up with. If it’s not meaningful, it might be a good idea to take it off the list. 

3. Write your intention statements:

These statements help you understand yourself on a deeper level and reinforce your (new) belief in your own potential. These statements Hold (CLAP!) You (CLAP!) Accountable (CLAP!) Here are some intention-writing tips:

• Write only what you desire. It’s tempting to write “I will be debt free” when you are aiming to get yourself out of debt. But this statement gives attention to the debt which is exactly what you don’t want! Instead try “I am financially free” or “I am abundant and financially able.” (Doesn’t that feel better?)

• Write your statement as if you already have it. Try using the words “Am,” “Can,” “Feel” instead of “Will” or “Should.”

4. Consider what you already have:

Too often, when making a list of things we want, we forget to include the things that are already ours! When considering your desires, it’s crucial to remember that while you may already have a home, or a car, or a loving family, you also want those things, right!? Gratitude is invaluable and will increase your frequency, and create a solid foundation for cultivating new and healthy habits. 

5. Lather, Rinse, Repeat: 

You have the intentions. You have the intention statements. Now write them down. In your planner, in your journal, on a sticky note on the toilet seat, on the mirror in lipstick. Read them when you wake up in the morning and just before going to bed at night. Set reminders in your phone and meditate on them. Ask your friends or your parents or your partner (or all of them!) to hold you accountable to your intentions. And then do it all again the next day. Commit these intentions to memory and put them on repeat in your mind. You should actually annoy yourself with your own awesome intentions.  

6. Celebrate the Wins:

Each and every one of them. Big, small, and in-between. As you make steps toward your goals, as you learn and grow, and even when you fail, CELEBRATE. Each day, consider what went well and find the good. On the toughest of days, this is the most important thing you can do. There is always something to celebrate. You woke up! You’re alive!  You had time to stop for coffee on your way to work! Karen was late to the carpool line and you were early! Everything counts. But nothing counts if you don’t take the time to recognize it. 

So do your subconscious a favor and ditch the “resolution.” Start a new ritual and begin to create your New Year’s Intentions! Let your imperfections shine. Extend grace to yourself. And when you decide to sleep in instead of going to the gym, wake up from that snooze refreshed and refocused and decide that you will do it better tomorrow. Or next week. The idea here isn’t to reach the summit of the mountain at the fastest rate possible. It’s to reach it at a pace that works for you, that allows you to step out and see how far you’ve come, and how far you have left to go. 

Authored by Jamie Darling Hall, LPC

Choosing Between a Life Coach and a Therapist

4 Myths Debunked to Help You Decide

Clients often struggle with understanding the difference between a Therapist and Coach and determining which would be most beneficial to reaching their personal goals. Both play important roles in the lives of their clients in different, but complementary, ways.

I happen to be both a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Board Certified Coach (BCC) and from where I sit, I believe that you can’t go wrong by choosing to have one or both of these types of services to help you on your path to wellness. Debunking the following myths are meant to help provide clarity between the two professions and help you decide which option is best for you.

Myth #1: Therapy and Coaching are basically the same

FALSE. Below are some of the basic differences: 

Therapy is aimed to help the client heal. Therapy provides a space for clients to do a deep dive into their psyche and connect the dots between who you were in the past, who you are now, and why you are the way you are. Much of therapy focuses on the past and is often met with clinical analysis, a clinical diagnosis, and a treatment plan aimed at healing from the traumas of the past. 

Coaching is aimed to help you succeed and is often focused on your future development. Coaches help you discover your own answers through engaging and thought-provoking conversation, creative processing, and action-oriented steps toward personal and professional fulfillment. Coaching helps you stay accountable to those goals through strategic planning and reviewing specific measurements of progress.

Myth #2: Credentials Don’t Matter

By nature (and years of education), therapists have the training and skillset to counsel and to coach. Most therapists however, choose to provide only clinical services due to insurance restrictions and client needs. Because insurance companies do not consider Coaching a clinical or medical necessity, they do not pay providers for these services. 

Most coaches, unless trained and educated to provide clinical services do not have the credentials required to treat mental health disorders or to diagnose. In the rare occasion your coach is also a mental health professional, it is important to identify what role you want them to play. This role cannot be changed and should you require mental health services, it is the coaches duty to refer you to a mental health provider. 

Although Coaches are not required to obtain certification, many do. If certification is important to you, the most popular credentials in the coaching profession are the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and the Board Certified Coach (BCC). Each of these certifications require extensive training, supervised practice, and the passing of a comprehensive examination. 

Myth #3: You Should “Complete” Therapy before Starting Coaching

Put plainly, this just simply isn’t true. In fact, I believe that the two professions can and should work closely together. Although a client may complete their therapy goals, the healing that occurs through therapy goes deep, so it’s hard to suggest that work is ever really “done.” That said, for clients who have decided that they want to focus on their performance or productivity goals, it’s a good idea for mental health professionals to have a few go-to coaching referrals for their clients. 

Conversely, it isn’t uncommon for mental health issues or concerns to arise in the coaching relationship. Due to the limitations in expertise in treating mental health conditions, it’s important that coaches also maintain a couple of go-to counselor referrals for clients needing to process or create healthy coping mechanisms. 

The truth is, if you need therapy, coaching is unlikely to work without it. But if you don't need therapy, you can choose coaching or therapy. You don't have to do both or do them in a certain order.

Myth #4: Coaches Need to Have Lived Experience to be Effective

Coaches do not need to have lived through or experienced the specific area you are seeking coaching for in order to provide insight and clarity. Consultants are often mistaken for coaches, but better fit this description. Consultants lead with their expertise and give advice, but coaches (and therapists) avoid giving advice about how to accomplish specific goals. A coach’s role is practical and focused on helping clients identify their inner strengths and resources to better work toward progress through strategy and action-oriented steps.  

Coaches come equipped with a broad skill set. Some coaches (and therapists) become more specialized and niche, but often you will find that coaches rarely limit themselves to a specific topic because no matter the subject, a coach’s job is to help you clarify and work toward your overall life vision. 

There is a different kind of coach for just about every kind of need. A few examples include, but aren’t limited to:

• Spiritual coach

• Creativity coach

• Writing coach

• Financial coach

• Performance coach

• Business coach

• Career coach

• Health coach

• Wellness coach

• Fitness coach

Summary

Therapists and coaches should be seen as allies — both helping professions — both with the common goal to help their clients become improved versions of themselves. 

Only therapists are qualified to provide mental health care. Therapists are the better option when you're seeking to heal emotional pain or when you need a quiet, private space for yourself to figure things out. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts or emotions, therapy may be a better fit.

Coaches specialize in mobilizing clients into action. They keep you motivated and inspired and hold you accountable to the goals you set for yourself. If you’re struggling to get going or you have a hard time knowing what the next first step is for you, a coach might be the perfect choice. 

Choosing between coaching or counseling isn’t about choosing between the “better” profession. It’s about choosing which service is better for you.

Authored By: Jamie Darling Hall
Psychotherapist & Personal Development Coach

BREAST CANCER AND WHY IT SUCKS

Authored by Jamie Hall, M.Ed., LPC, NCC

1 in 8 women develop breast cancer. 

1 in 39 women die from breast cancer. 

My grandmother became both of these statistics. She was also 1 in a million.

This story isn’t going to meet the typical “blog-writing” standards. You probably won’t feel all gooey inside after reading it. I won’t be providing you with a heartwarming comeback story about a woman who fought hard and overcame. Those stories are out there and they deserve all the praise and admiration. But this story isn’t that. In fact, this story is a short one about an incredible woman who overcame many things in her life, but breast cancer wasn’t one of them. 

At the early age of 66, my grandmother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She opted not to do chemotherapy and received a lumpectomy and completed radiation. It was a year into remission when they found the lump in her stomach. Her cancer had metastasized and spread to her bones. Two months later, she was gone. 

Growing up, my grandmother was my best friend, and it was no secret that I was her favorite of all the cousins. She had a way of making you feel like you were the only person on the planet. She was so loving, so bright, and so f**king cool. Her pot roast was to DIE for. She was wicked funny. And she knew her way around a card deck like nobody’s business. To know her was to love her. And we all loved her. 

Keep reading for what YOU can do for yourself and for the women in your lives.

What you need to know:

• Women with close relatives who've been diagnosed with breast cancer have a higher risk of developing the disease.

• If you've had one first-degree female relative (sister, mother, daughter) diagnosed with breast cancer, your risk is doubled. If two first-degree relatives have been diagnosed, your risk is 5 times higher than average.

Lifestyle choices you can make to keep your risk of developing breast cancer as low it can be:

• maintaining a healthy weight

• exercising regularly

• limiting alcohol

• eating nutritious food

• never smoking (or quitting if you do smoke)

More frequent screening: If you're at high risk because of a strong family history of breast cancer, you and your doctor will develop a screening plan tailored to your unique situation. 

Recommended screening guidelines include:

• a monthly breast self-exam

• a yearly breast exam by your doctor or nurse practitioner

• a mammogram every year starting at age 40

Breast cancer sucks. Cancer sucks. Losing loved ones far too early sucks. Don’t become another statistic. Be sure to check out the references below for more information on how you can decrease your chances of developing breast cancer.

References: 

American Cancer Society 

Breast Cancer Org

From Hopeless to Hopeful

I have such a higher respect for Suicide Prevention and Awareness month now than where I stood from my high school years to the turning point where I reached out for help in August of 2016. I saw where my addiction destroyed all serenity and trust of my loved ones especially my son who was two years old at the time. Even before that moment, looking at my earlier days where the thought of taking my own life started at the age of 12. That year was where I was still grieving the sudden loss of my father on top of seeing my mother going through addiction to the point where I was caring for her and my younger brother. At that time, I was the parent which built a high amount of pressure and sacrifices based on my decision.  

When I entered middle school and high school, I rarely had any other students I can connect with because I made the choice to be an adult early to make sure my family was taken care of. As a result, I was bullied constantly based on how I was dressed, how I looked physically. This developed into a pattern to hurt myself by starving myself just so I can look like the other girls and be someone I’m not. I didn’t figure out then that these patterns would spiral me into the darkest abyss in my head where killing myself sounded more peaceful than living. 

 I kept these thoughts quiet if I was high or drunk because if I was inebriated those thoughts would be stuffed down. But when the substances and alcohol stopped working, the thoughts were daily. At this point I’m 23 years old, a new mother to a beautiful baby boy, amazing job at a big tech company and a full-time student. I had the façade right where others saw a successful young woman that is raising a family. I wish that was what I saw, however I was screaming on the inside in fear and agony. What people didn’t know was that I am a drug addicted mother that wanted to take her life because the hospital told me I almost killed my baby during delivery when the injection caused a reaction with both of us where we had to detox in the hospital his first week of life. On top of that, my relationship with my son’s father wasn’t the picture perfect that we wanted people to see. I was unhappy, trapped in my own body. I needed substances to function which caused a strain with my son’s father and resulted in kicking me out of our home because I couldn’t give up those things even for my child.  

The very moment where suicide sounded like the best result, was the afternoon of August 26, 2016. I had been coming from over a 2 weeklong binge of experimenting which things would take me out the quickest. Before I made the decision, I went over to our apartment to see my son in what I thought was going to be the last time and say goodbye. I wanted him to have a better life and my head told me without me in this world, he will have a better chance. After the visit, I wanted to do this at the safest place I knew which was my grandparents' home. My grandparents have watched over us since I was a baby, and they were my comfort when all chaos was around. They knew I plummeted, but they still love me unconditionally. I got to the house and said I wanted to lay down but use the bathroom first. What they didn’t know and didn’t want them to know was I ingested all I had left in that bathroom and came out to lay on the couch. Over the course of a few minutes, the last I remembered was shutting my eyes and darkness. However, the darkness turned into a warm presence that was familiar to me. It was my father who passed away when I was ten. He just walked over to me and said, “It’s not your time yet honey, you have so much more to do”. Was I dreaming? Does he know how much I screwed up everything. I said, “I want to stay with you, I already screwed everything up”.  The last I remember from this encounter was just him smiling where I trusted him. I woke up, my baby boy was standing right in front of me. My mother made me aware my heart stopped for 5 minutes. At that moment, I said “I need help, but I don’t know how to find help”.  

 That is where my journey began. I am grateful to say since the decision of being honest I needed help; I am not only five years sober. I am also at peace where I am today. I still have bad days, although instead of thinking of the end, I have a support system to reach out to. If you are currently struggling and feel ashamed having thoughts of suicide, you are not alone. Additionally, there are resources out there that will help. It loses power when we seek a solution and gain freedom and joy.  

A Moment of Profound Darkness

Alright, let’s say it.

Suicide.

S-U-I-C-I-D-E.

You may be feeling uncomfortable reading those words. Maybe you felt taken aback, perhaps your body suddenly felt warm with tension, or maybe you felt nothing at all. Where did your mind go? Did you think of someone specific, something you saw on the news, or simply startled by reading those words? 

However your body, mind, and spirit responded, it’s okay. Even if you don’t realize it, you have been impacted by suicide. Statistically speaking, someone you know and possibly someone you love has attempted, completed, or has otherwise been deeply impacted by suicide. 

We live in a world where we dance around the concept of suicide like it is an old article of clothing pushed to the back of a wardrobe, a “junk drawer” that never completely opens, or an ex-partner. Here’s the reality of the situation--it’s not an article of clothing that is no longer worn. It’s not a catch-all drawer that you don’t want the neighbors to see. It’s not the ex-partner who you’ve tried to forget. 

In life we face trials and obstacles that cause darkness to permeate our world and our mindset. After a while, it feels nearly impossible to see around or through that darkness and you can begin to wonder if there will ever be an end to feelings of pain, suffering, and despair. If you’ve never experienced that feeling, imagine you’re walking down a set of stairs in complete darkness. You miscount and skip a step. Suddenly your foot is suspended in the air, thoughts of tumbling down the staircase flood your mind, your body begins to panic, and you suddenly realize that you don’t feel in control of what may happen next. In short, it is terrifying, helpless, and numbing all at once. If you are reading this and you have felt this way before, I am so glad you’re here and you chose to keep going.

We often talk about suicide as a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but that will never discount the feelings of numbness, claustrophobia, and hopelessness that one may experience when they feel as if suicide is their only escape from their pain. It is within that moment of brokenness that connection is most essential. While therapeutic techniques and theories will always have their place in the clinical space, it is in that moment of profound darkness that humanness is often the most powerful tool. The ability to share space with someone in their moments of vulnerability is one of immense privilege. If you or someone you know has experienced such feelings, know that your presence on this planet is a gift. 

Read that again.

Your presence on this planet is a gift.

Even after all that you have been through and endured, you have made it to this moment to read the words on this page. You have gifts that enrich the world and those around you, and your spirit is so uniquely you. It is okay to be tired, to question the shortcomings, injustices, and the pain in this world. Find things that give you a sense of hope and light. Maybe lightness comes from the sound of your dog running to the door as you arrive home, the smell of rain, or just the thought of family and friends. If searching for that feeling seems to be too much, that’s okay. There will always be options for you to feel seen, heard, and valued. 

You are loved, you are valued, and you are more than enough. 

If you or someone you know is in need of support, there are people who are here to help:

• Georgia Crisis and Access Line (GCAL) - 1-800-715-4225

• The Trevor Project - 1-866-488-7386

• Crisis Text Line - Text HOME to 741741

Authored by: Sarah Erdman, APC

5 Ways Kids Benefit from Practicing Yoga

It’s no secret that we live in a world where being overworked and over-scheduled is worn like a badge of honor. Unfortunately, that badge weighs a proverbial TON and our kids are being held to the same standards. Between busy parents, school, homework, after-school programs, sports practice, music lessons, school clubs, video games, and hanging out with friends, it’s difficult to carve out time for kids to rest! The pace of the world is bustling, and your kids are hustling right along with it, never pausing long enough to learn the skills to know how to regulate big emotions or live a more intentional life. 

As adults, there comes a time, sometimes in college, sometimes not until much later, when we learn the value of a quiet moment, the warmth of a deep, cleansing breath, and the circulation that comes from a lengthening stretch. But why wait until adulthood to learn the benefits of Yoga?

Yoga is a microcosm of the physical, mental, and spiritual practices essential to establishing a foundation for mindfulness, emotional regulation, and overall body strength and wellness. Not to mention, the simple practice of yoga can help to counter the pressures of “keeping up” with the rat race of the world. 

Here are just some of the ways yoga benefits children!

1. Builds Emotional Regulation Skills:

Children who aren’t taught how to properly regulate and express their emotions often turn to yelling, crying, or throwing tantrums. Through breathing techniques, introspection, and an emphasis on learning about your inner feelings, yoga helps children calm their bodies and their minds. Kids who practice yoga can tune into the physical sensations in their bodies that are tied to emotion, and use their breath and movement to address any uncomfortable emotions before they get out of control. With time, children who practice yoga are able to apply the skills they learn to everyday life in order to react to any situation in a calm and regulated way. 

2. Develops Spatial Awareness and Visual Skills:

Not only does yoga increase core strength and posture, it also teaches children to be aware of their bodies and their space, and remain in control of themselves and their movements. Yoga teaches children to be present in the moment and to focus on what they are doing (a skill that many adults struggle with)! With a greater sense of self-awareness, and a physical outlet for self-expression, children can become more disciplined and their impulsive behavior will be minimized. 

3. Reduces Anxiety:

The breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, mindfulness skills, and socio-emotional skills learned in yoga naturally reduce the stress hormones released in the brain, which in turn, reduce anxiety. Children who practice yoga gain self-acceptance, resilience, and strengthen their mental and physical flexibility. These traits inherently act as healthy protective boundaries from depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns that manifest in childhood.

4. Develops Positive Social Skills: 

When practiced as a group, children in yoga classes learn to respect everyone’s individual ability and pace. The focus on self-acceptance in yoga allows children to see strength in themselves and others, and helps to increase positive interactions with other people. Because there is no competition in yoga, children are allowed and even encouraged to have fun with their friends in a space that embodies mutual respect and love. 

5. Built In Brain Breaks:

With so many things to learn and see and do, children’s little brains are constantly stimulated (not to mention, growing)! Children need brain breaks in their days just as much as adults do. Yoga encourages silent meditation throughout each pose, allowing children to appreciate the stillness of body and mind, and to relax from the hurry and worry of the day. 

The benefits of yoga will stay with them for a lifetime. Children who regularly practice yoga are able to take the skills they learned home to share with their families and friends, and to use in a variety of situations. Calm, regulated children who practice yoga are more in control of their bodies, feelings, and minds. This very intentional offering will set your child up to take mindful care of themselves in childhood and throughout their lives. Young Yogis is a great place to start that practice!

Authored By: Eliana Gross, APC

If you or your child is interested in making Yoga a regular practice, click on the button below!

Could the “Green-Eyed Monster” Actually Help Improve Your Relationships?

Jealousy is often assumed to be a sign of troubled waters. Some might say, “it isn’t healthy!” There’s an incredibly common misconception that non-monogamous people, or those who have multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships, do not experience jealousy. The reality of this is that all of these statements could not be further from the truth, as jealousy is an emotion that everyone feels at different times, even outside of romance. Jealousy is something we reluctantly feel when a co-worker receives a promotion or a friend posts pictures of their amazing vacation on social media. It does not mean that we are not happy for them, but we feel jealousy when someone has something that we do not or something that we are fearful of losing. Jealousy is all around us and it can, despite popular opinion, be used for good.

Jealousy is as normal of an emotion as happiness and sadness. For both monogamous and non-monogamous people, jealousy can be used as a tool that indicates that something deeper is happening within themselves.

When feeling jealousy, this usually means that one, or possibly both, of these circumstances are happening:

1. A need is not being met

2. There is an insecurity related to this specific topic

For instance, if we use this approach with the co-worker example, we could conclude that jealousy is being felt towards the co-worker receiving a promotion because we are struggling to make ends meet and/or we do not feel valued or appreciated at our job. This realization allows us to take responsibility for our own emotions and identify the possible root cause of the jealousy. In this scenario, we were able to also determine that while our feelings are valid, they are not our co-worker’s fault. Sometimes jealousy can cloud our judgment and we can end up taking out our frustrations on someone who does not deserve it. Even if that person were to have caused our needs not to be met or they are responsible for creating an issue, acknowledging the deeper personal reason behind the jealousy can allow us to articulate our needs to that person in a more rational way instead of lashing out.

All relationships, both monogamous and non-monogamous, require communication. In fact, multiple relationships require more coordination, openness, and honesty. The fear of being vulnerable can play a major part in miscommunication between partners and, ultimately hinder your connection with your partner or partners. For many, exploring their internal emotions and assessing the root of their feelings of jealousy is something they have never done before. Jealousy can give us an opportunity to pinpoint and express concerns to our partner but it can also give us practice with being vulnerable and asking for things that we need. This could include verbalizing “I feel jealous when you go out with your friends on Thursday nights because I am worried that you enjoy spending time with them more than you do with me.” With more discussion, this could include asking for reassurance from your partner that they still enjoy spending time with you, scheduling an ongoing date night with them for more time out, or picking up a personal hobby for yourself that you enjoy doing on Thursday nights while your partner is out.

Ultimately, we may feel an immense amount of guilt and anger for experiencing feelings of jealousy because it has gotten a bad reputation. In movies and on social media, we see that at times jealousy can drive people to pretty extreme behaviors. While it is true that unchecked and unprocessed jealousy can be detrimental, it is important to remember that this is true of any emotion. Individual and couples therapy can be vital in assisting with unpacking these difficult feelings and/or just practicing being vulnerable with our partner or partners. Overall, it is important to remember that the actual feeling of jealousy is not wrong, in fact, it is natural and normal and most people feel it at different levels. What is important is what we do with this jealousy, how we express it, and how we use it to strengthen our relationships with others. 

Helpful resources for jealousy:

• The Jealousy Workbook

• Managing Jealousy [pdf]

• 5 Simple Ways to Stop Jealousy From Ruining Your Relationship

Authored By: Amanda Murray, LPC

“Do I Have a Smoking Problem?” - A Harm Reduction Approach

As a trauma and substance use therapist, I’m often asked by clients who are seeing me for issues related to trauma or depression if their use of marijuana is problematic. For me, it’s a loaded question; My answer is going to be different from other therapists working in the substance abuse realm. As a former “pothead” millennial, weed was very much a part of my cultural upbringing and more normalized than those older than me. In my substance abuse work with clients, I take a harm reductionist approach in therapy and want to share this approach to help others examine and contemplate their personal use. 

1. “What’s making you ask?”

My first question is going to be what is making you question your use. Did something recently happen where your use was confronted? Are you becoming more mindful of your use and noticing you’re using more than you ever wanted to (tolerance is too high)? Did you go a few days without smoking and find it hard to cope or relax? Maybe you’re asking because there’s a lot of negative stigma around substance use and you’re unsure about what’s considered appropriate.

Knowing the issues coming up that are making you question your substance use are important in determining if cannabis is causing disruption in your life. Some of my clients are simply very self-reflective and evaluate many areas of their life. Some of my clients find themselves questioning their use because shit is hitting the fan. Be honest with yourself (and your therapist if you’re working with one).

2. “What role does pot play in your life?”

What do you use weed for? Is it for connecting with others, relaxing on the weekends, or handling emotions that seem too overwhelming when you’re sober? Or is it hard to tell what you use it for at this point because you’re using it consistently throughout the day? Is being high the only way you can get through the day? Maybe you never asked yourself these questions.

How you answer this question is going to provide YOU with a lot of insight. When I was at the peak of my use, I found myself smoking a bowl when I was lonely because I had come to associate the high feeling with group hang outs and community events, but then I found myself smoking when I was alone and not reaching out to others to make a connection. 

If you’re using weed to escape powerful feelings or emotions you are uncomfortable with, a negative feedback loop is going to be created in which your tolerance for any discomfort is decreased due to never being exposed long enough to those emotions to learn to cope with them. This leads to needing weed more and more to regulate yourself because you aren’t using any other tool or method to feel and move through the emotions. This is how we find ourselves feeling anxious, uncomfortable in our bodies, depressed, and out of sorts when we don’t have any weed for a time period longer than we are used to. (Cue the panicked texts to the weed man after your stash and roaches are deplenished.)

Often people turn to cannabis when trying to quit another addiction, like alcohol. Usually this is an innocent attempt to take the edge off while coming down from being addicted to another substance, but can easily turn into a cross addiction before we’re even aware. If you have other addictions, be honest with yourself about what you are really doing with weed. If you’re trying to fill the hole left by another vice, cannabis isn’t going to be the filler you’re looking for. 

3. “When do you smoke?” 

Are you smoking at night before bed? Do you smoke in the morning, on the way to work, on break, when you get home, and continuously from that point? Is it when you’re around certain people? Is it just to handle being around certain people? Maybe it’s just a weekend thing. 

When we’re using it consistently, we may stop noticing the triggering events that lead us to light a joint. Things start feeling automatic and thoughtless. The timing of our use can key us into the people, events, and feelings that we are trying to avoid and not experience. For example: If you're high every time you're with your partner is there something about true intimacy and vulnerability that scares you? Are you afraid you won’t enjoy each other’s company without a boost? Do you like being with this person?

4. “Are other people concerned about your use?”

What are the people who love you saying about your use? Is your partner concerned and tired of never catching you sober? Are your friends telling you that you’re absent-minded, numb, or not as enjoyable to be around? Are your kids constantly asking you what’s wrong when you’re high on the couch? Maybe your family is concerned about the amount of money, time and risk-taking associated with your use. When people voice concern about our use, they’re not attempting to hurt you or judge you. They’re expressing concern about your wellbeing. As hard as it can be to hear, remember these are people you picked to be in your life- for a reason.

5. “Can you take it or leave it?”

Bottom line, most important question: Could you do without? If you’re using to the point that you’re having consequences such as loss of relationships, restricted job opportunities, financial problems, legal issues, or negative impacts on your emotional wellbeing, and you know it’s related to your use, and you still think you cannot go without marijuana, then yes, I would feel comfortable telling you your smoking has become a problem. 

Here’s the thing though... It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s about what you think and what you’re willing to do. If you’re committed to smoking 5 blunts a day for the rest of your life, then there’s not much I can do for you about your use until you want something different. If you’re coming into my office and asking about your use, then I believe there’s a part of you that wants to do something different -- and we can just talk about those feelings for as long as we need to. I don’t believe in forcing people to do work they’re not willing to do -- it’s ineffective long-term. Therapy is about what you want it to be about. So if you’re at peace with your use of smoking on the weekends, then we’re going to talk about something you actually want to work on, but depending on your level of usage, there may be a ceiling to progress that can be achieved in other areas of your life -- and I’m not going to bullshit you about it.

Authored By: Tori Emerick, APC

Why Attachment Styles Are More Important Than Love Languages

At some time or another, most of us have heard of the “Five Love Languages." If you haven’t, let me give you a quick overview. Love Languages are the 5 categories that outline how we express and experience love. Knowing your Love Language and your significant other’s Love Language could help improve your relationship and understand one another. However, if the foundation of your relationship is not solid, will knowing and understanding one another’s love language save the relationship? There’s a good chance that it won’t.

Often, I hear sentiments such as these…

“I don’t know why they ignore my calls or texts for days.” 

“Every time I try to address a problem, they ignore me.”

“I just can’t seem to connect with my partner. It seems strange to me.” 

“I can’t hang out with friends without them getting upset.” 

Perhaps understanding attachment styles will give you more insight into your behaviors in your relationships and your current or past partners’ behaviors. I often utilize attachment styles as the guidelines to a healthy relationship as it gives you things or flags to look for when dating others as well as bringing insight to your own stuff. 

Well, you may be wondering…"What are attachment styles?" As a child, our caregivers are our first teachers and their attachment style often rubs off on us. It's also possible to sustain changes to your attachment style after having traumatic experience in dating. Attachment styles are strongly related to how you attached to others as a child. Then as we grow older attachment styles are telling as to how we respond within intimate relationships. It is how we perceive emotional intimacy, handle conflict, communicate or needs, and expectations of our relationships and our partners. Many of these become the foundation in which our relationships are built on…but if the foundation is broken, how far will your love language take you?

There are four attachment styles: secure, dismissive, anxious, and disorganized. 

Secure attachment style:

• Can handle conflicts well 

• Have healthy interdependent relationships with their partner 

• More trusting and forgiving 

• Communicates their needs well and listens to their partner’s needs 

• More empathetic and attuned to their partners and responds appropriately

Example: Both partners can hang out with friends separately without it being a problem.

Dismissive attachment style:

• Often prioritizes their autonomy over their relationship

• Often pulls away and do not depend on their partner 

• They are not comfortable expressing their emotions but they do well with communicating intellectually

• They are often good in crisis situations, avoids conflicts, and prefers to be alone

• They are often disengaged, detached, and not attuned to their partner or children

Example: A dismissive partner may spend so much time alone that they negate their relationship.

Anxious attachment style:

• Often preoccupied with their partners and fear rejection and abandonment

• They express needy behaviors and desire reassurance

• High conflict and take their partner’s actions personally.

• They often become codependent, have poor boundaries

• Unwilling to take accountability for their actions, moody, unpredictable, and not attuned to their partner’s or children’s needs 

Example: An anxious partner may constantly ask their significant other if they love them for reassurance. 

Disorganized attachment style:

• Individuals often come from a place of unresolved trauma

• Exhibit substance abuse behaviors, anger, aggression, criminality, abusive behaviors and may be narcissistic

• They may script past trauma into their current relationships and how they parent 

• Does not handle conflict well. 

Example: Disorganized partners may gaslight their partner where the partner questions their reality/feelings.

Do you identify with any of these attachment styles? Can you identify your mother, father or caregivers, or your current or past partners? Is there a pattern? Understanding your attachment style can help you understand what changes you need to make in moving towards a more secure attachment style. It can also help you in navigating the dating field to identify individuals with healthy attachment styles. 

Understand that not everyone has or will migrate towards a secure attachment style naturally and that’s okay. However, are you, your current or future partner willing to acknowledge and be aware of their attachment styles to move into healthier behaviors? Just because you are not secure now doesn’t mean you can’t work towards it. Having awareness of your attachment styles can help you hold yourself accountable. For example, if you catch yourself avoiding conflict what can you do to talk to your partner to resolve the problem? Or if you constantly prefer alone time and prefer autonomy, how can you move towards spending more time with your significant other? 

It may take time to relearn healthy ways to maneuver towards a secure attachment style, especially if you have lived most of your life without understanding why you or your partner do what you do in relationships. Bringing this into awareness will help you to determine whether you are dating someone who is willing to do the work. Moving into a secure attachment style for a stronger relationship takes work, but it is possible. Once the foundation is healthy, bringing love languages into the relationship will be a bonus in cultivating a stronger relationship.

Explore more about attachment styles here

Authored by: Shae Ivie-Williams, LPC